The Clock Ticks Louder Now (Episode 45)

 The Clock Ticks Louder Now (45)

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This morning herring gulls are calling in the scent of salt on a sea breeze. It is fresh with floral elements and the sun promises heat.

Alt texts provides an accurate description of this week’s photo: A red clock with white numbers. I say it is the actual clock that played a part in inspiring one of my recent poems.

The poem is called ‘The Clock Ticks Louder Now’ and it was selected by Alan Parry for the inaugural episode of The Coffeehouse Podcast. I do love being on a podcast. Alan reads the poem beautifully and it was wonderful to listen to it featured there as one of the ten poems. I loved the fact that the episode made the perfect accompaniment to a lazy breakfast of tea and toast. I like to find the perfect slots for podcast listening. Three of my regular listens are: 

‘Eat the Storms’ poetry podcast, with tea and cake for Saturday teatime;

‘A Thousand Shades of Green’ poetry podcast with mid-morning minty tea on a Friday;

‘In Good Company’ coaching podcast with lunch on a Monday.

The coaching podcast gives me time to think about the way my coaching is developing as I listen in, and it feels good to have a dedicated point of reflection for this. This month’s coaching summit from 'In Good Company' gave me the perfect opportunity to spend a much larger amount of time reflecting on my coaching journey and to begin to plan my next steps. I learned from each of the speakers and loved the fact that there was a new presentation every hour on the hour. This suits my learning style and I used the little breaks between speakers to think about my learning and my ‘what nexts’.

I am fortunate to have had a number of people join me for the pro-bono hours whilst I complete my Diploma. A wonderful way of sharing time for thinking and for me to reflect on what is helpful and what is less helpful when sharing a coaching space with different people. I am feeling excited about continuing to develop this as my new career.

Working with successful people at different points in their careers has shown me that there is something very powerful about taking real time to think at different transition points. Taking time to read the evaluations I have received for my coaching so far gave me the opportunity to look for a common thread. I got what I am now going to call ‘the testimony tingle’ when I read a response from someone I had recently completed six sessions with. What a privilege to read about the positive impact of something I absolutely love doing. JM said: “Homophobia had crushed me, so much that I was projecting others' views onto myself as a gay man.  Sue compassionately helped me to reconsider who I am in a structured way, what I believed and where my values lay. My self-worth returned.” 

In my previous career in education I saw the power of regular 1:1 goal setting and reflection time, and I was able to engage in some of this work deeply. I see now that I hankered for more because to me it was the thing that made a real human difference.

Here are ten things that brought me to coaching:

 

1.    ‘Corridor Conversations’

Picture two colleagues talking. One of them says they are feeling nervous about a presentation they are due to give. The other tells them they will be fine. The second person probably believes in them. They probably have evidence that their colleague will indeed be fine, and their colleague will give a good presentation. But imagine moving from that kind of conversation to one in which there is time to explore the thoughts, feelings and behaviours so that the first person believes in themselves and knows this belief is true. That’s a coaching conversation.

2.    The joy of thinking forward

My past brought me to where I am today. The tricky times, the sad times, the hilarious times, the successful times. And on the way I have planned things and set goals. But I now know that there’s nothing quite like a coaching space for helping to get to the real nitty gritty of what next, the clarity of hearing what you really want and the recognition of what needs to change. A coaching conversation brings clarity.

3.    The power of 1:1 connection

Working with one person at a time is an absolute privilege. There’s a real joy to being part of someone’s journey. Creating space together for focusing on what’s happening now, what needs to happen next, sharing the celebrations, exploring the goals. A coaching space is just for you.

4.    Knowing what potential burnout feels like

For me the alarm system in the building became the final straw. It was one thing too many when I felt stressed and worn out. It wasn’t actually that complicated and it didn’t happen often, but it became a symbol of a potential breaking point. I knew I needed to make a change. I chose coaching. I wish I had chosen it sooner.

5.    Recognising that successful people who work hard benefit from time to think, breathe and be

An hour and a half of dedicated time is rare in a busy world. The kind of time where you can think about your own story, your own dreams, what it is that makes you tick, brings you joy. This kind of time exists in a coaching space.

6.    The need for change

I took time to take stock and recognise what I was good at, what brought me joy, what gave my life purpose. I explored my values properly after 53 years. I learned a lot, found humour in the fact that the answers were in there all along and took time to explore my goals. A coaching conversation is the perfect place to think about change.

7.    The power and joy of thinking out loud

An hour and a half of time dedicated to one person. Time to think deeply. Time to explore thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Time to focus. Time to notice. Shared thinking time that helps diminish solitary over-thinking time. A coaching conversation helps you organise your thoughts.

8.    Coaching brought me to coaching

Being coached gave me time and space to listen to myself. I was able to really tune in to what I wanted, what I needed, where I was going and what was blocking me. When I changed career, I got up early each Monday morning to rebuild my relationship with a day of the week that had begun to overwhelm me. I breathed the morning air and noted its smell. I set my goals, I was honest with myself about what was blocking me, and I loved it.

9.    The joy of sharing time

Humans are ace, but sometimes the very busy nature of life itself means there isn’t the necessary time to think, breathe and be. Coaching provides an authentic space so that you can hear what you really think, take a breath, be yourself, hear what you’re saying, recognise what next. I love the fact that using my time and my coaching skills can give others valuable time. It’s a fair exchange.

10. Wanting to make a difference

I thought it was the case, I felt it in my bones, I reflected on my work and then the testimonials backed it up. A coaching space is just for you. It’s an investment. It helps.

I will end today with a reading of ‘The Clock Ticks Louder Now’:

THE CLOCK TICKS LOUDER NOW

 

For the last three months the red clock

we rehomed from the charity shop

has been ticking more loudly.

 

I used to only notice if I listened.

 

Then I started to hear it when I bent down

to turn on the tv.

After that, I heard it each time I swapped shoes

for slippers in the hallway.

 

Now I can hear it when I lie in bed;

through two shut doors.

I dread lying down.

 

The space between the tick and tock

is just the same hyphened gap,

but my pulse tells me there’s something wrong.

 

I have started watching YouTube videos on double speed

eating my toast when it is a shade lighter than caramel

and there’s this voice in my head constantly

chanting, Hurry up, hurry up.