A YELLOW SALT DOUGH STAR
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This morning the air does not smell like the aisle with lots of candles in it at the supermarket, nor does it smell like last night’s paprika in oil casserole starter. And this means that for the first time since starting this blog in September 2023 I cannot report what Monday smells like. My sense of taste and smell have been affected by covid this past week. I can sense there is taste to things and luckily, I have a good imagination so can sort of sense the flavour of things I am eating, but only salt actually registers. And as for smell, the only things that have been evident since Friday are that supermarket scent and the beginning of yesterday’s dinner, and even those were dim.
Although covid greyed my week it had a wonderful beginning ... Good company and the kind of conversation that makes time fly over a delicious and leisurely lunch at Shrub in Chester. It was lovely to eat out there for the first time and experience excellent service and quality dishes. The small plates were decent sized plates, and the flavours were wonderful. It was pleasing to find that having sat and relaxed after our main courses there was even room for pudding later on.
It was this time of year many, many moons ago when I found myself invited to a 'posh' dinner for the first time. I remember feeling distinctly unready. I was unsure what to wear and worried that I wouldn't know which cutlery to use for each of the different courses, so I asked for advice beforehand. "It's easy, you just eat from the outside in," was what I was told. As a result, I spent a long time at that dinner eating my meal in concentric circles. My concentration was superb and at least it slowed down my eating pace. they meant the cutlery if course, but if you don't know you don't know, and I didn't know.
Alt text says this week’s photo is a stuffed toy bird on a Christmas tree. I say it is a robin with beautiful googly eyes wearing a Christmas hat with a bell. I also say let’s not forget Fir Cone Friend in the background. The robin is one of a set of three, each with their own unique characteristics including the one who lost an eye last year and now has one large googly eye and one medium! I love remembering where decorations first came from and although a yellow salt dough star gifted to me by a child in 2013 is beginning to diminish somewhat it definitely sparkled with magic and memories when it came out of the box ... for the child who made it and for lovely Jo who also got one, always kept it and also loved it.
While dropping off to sleep during the week I was amused to find myself dreaming that I was a gingerbread biscuit on a baking tray. I could feel the metal underneath me and was hugely impressed by my own flatness. There seems to be a thing about transformation for me that occurs on the edge of sleep lately. Having vividly been a spoon and a biscuit I wonder what I might be next!
Tidying my desk this week I decided to recycle some old notebooks and refresh my supplies. I am attending a writing masterclass with Caroline Bird this week and starting a new journal now will set me up for writing in the new year. I found a few bits and pieces that I had started and not finished so have set these aside to come back to. I also found a notebook with just one page written on. It seems that in January 2024 I recorded my 12 ‘leave behinds’ and my 12 ‘bring forwards’ and then shelved the book! Having not revisited the lists since documenting them I reread them through half closed eyes in case I had not met my aims!
Here are the lists:
1. Nervous voice/lack of self-belief/silence/improper silence/ nervous voice/lack of self-belief/silence/improper silence/nervous voice/lack of self-belief/silence/improper silence/nervous voice
2. Singing voice/can do it attitude/collaboration/networking/conversation starters/coaching/celebrating me/joy identified/seeking opportunities/Me Mondays/mini travels/celebrating special people/poetry performance
It seems I couldn’t count, but I love my progress! I also love the fact that I have done so much thinking about silence this year, and that it even got a blog post all of its own!
I was wondering which poem to include today, and the perfect poem for this time of year has to be this one from Annick Yerem:
‘i am a firm believer in fairy lights’
the way they offer a twinkly hope
for better days, the way they cut
through the fog on winter nights,
illuminated landing strips
sparkling my walks round
the neighbourhood
an assembly of wayward, tiny stars
ages ago, you handed me a small
bundle and on the wrapping paper
you had written: ‘those dark corners don't stand a chance`
i switch them on at night
and every time i remember how
good it felt to know
that every once in a while
someone will see all your darkness
and help you light it up.
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