TWELVESES (Episode 70)

  TWELVESES

PodBean Link for those who like to listen

This morning the air carries the dull scent of newspaper print. This strikes me as a contrast to last night when it was stirred with the magic of wood smoke and incense. The moon, jacketed in clouds, has waned to 58%, and in hedgerows the birds are welcoming one another to the day.

 

Alt text says this week’s photo is a plate of food with a bowl of fries. I say it is our ‘on the road’ evening meal on a day where late elevenses of tea and cake became twelveses, and lunch a little while later was a shared meal deal. Sometimes in someone else’s town it can be difficult to know where to go to eat and I am grateful to the local person I asked for advice who recommended this place to us.

 

I have motivated myself to get back into the swing of walking this week, and found joy in noticing the changes in the hedgerows and in the amount of light at different times of day. I have been amused by the sound of a squirrel warning off a dog from the top of a tree, and pleased that the days are increasing in length which widens my choice of when to walk. I thought I had a great video of the squirrel growling out its warning and then leaping from tree to tree until I watched it back and found I had held my phone upwards all that time and then actually pressed record as I walked away. So instead of punchy squirrel I have a five second video of my feet as I attempt to watch back my non-existent video.

 

My main walking motivation comes from my current mantra of ‘steps I take today are making future steps easier’, and I am enjoying tracking my progress. After a limited number of steps in December I can see that I am now building back up to where I was in November. The graph of brisk minutes, and the distance ring on my phone are useful tools in keeping me going me even though I pretty much do the same country road route each time at the moment! It helps to have the Snowdon goal in mind, but there is something really positive about it becoming habitually good for my mental and physical health beyond this. It is good to feel determined. It is also fun to remember the different times I have climbed the mountain or been up on the train in the past. All very different experiences, and each one special.

 

I had a dream this week where I was climbing Snowdon with my brother and sister. We were all kitted up, about a fifth of the way up and striding well when they said they wanted to take something back down to the car. I wanted to carry on to the top because I wasn’t quite sure we had let mum know what we were doing and I didn’t want to be late! Here it is in a poetic form because it felt good to set down a vivid dream that quite amused me when I woke up. (It’s got that recurring essence of ‘Hurry Up’ in it too.)

 

AND ALL I WANTED TO DO

 

was get up that mountain and down again

tell my mum I was coming back

if she could just take the pies out of the oven

and wait for me.

 

But I couldn’t get the message to send

and the batteries in my torch were failing.

 

It’s a bit like a companion poem for Hanging On which features in Gallery 4 – a gallery of dreams, in my second collection ‘Welcome to the Museum of a Life’...

 

HANGING ON

 

Sure of the rope that had me swinging

certain the rungs were wooden

I thought of the grip of past climbers.

All the dirt pushed into the twists

smoothed and darkened

by person after person.

 

And here I am

three-quarters of the way up

suddenly swaying on unanchored plastic,

with the realisation that the ladder is inflatable.

 

I cling on;

tell myself height is irrelevant

that I was ascending before.

Say that, if hand over hand

worked a few feet in the air,

there is no reason to doubt it now.

 

I will the sway to stop

keep listening.

I go faster

desperate to outclimb that gentle

puff of escaping air.