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Singing as the Darkness Lifts 29/01/2024 (21)

 

 Singing as the Darkness Lifts 29/01/2024

Podbean Link for those who like to listen

Ronnie is a little blurred outside the venue for the yarn show, but taking another photo was not an option because after this photo he landed in a pigeon poo and had to hibernate for a while until it was bubble bath time. Or as Alt Text puts it: 'A stuffed animal flying in the air'.

This morning it is raining and there is a comforting smell of woodsmoke riding the air.

At the weekend we returned from eight days in Welwyn Garden City and our time at the ‘Wool in Garden City’ yarn show. During those days and on arrival back home I felt as though I had been transported into a completely different life of meeting people and talking about Kath’s design work. It felt like I was being extended, exercising a different side of me. I liked this.

The cottage we stayed in whilst we were away, was nicely remote (although I don’t really miss the drive down the bumpy old track to get to it – as my grandad would have said, “it’s a good miss!”) and it kept us entertained as we explored its quirks. The underfloor heating was delightful after a cold day’s travel to get there, but we never really felt it working again and a tap that dripped on the floor meant I only ran one big bubbly bath.

We saw black squirrels, very large rabbits and seemingly well-fed deer in the garden and were also there under a full moon. Seeing the moon led me to re-read my wolf moon poem and I loved the fact that it captured a set of feelings in time from when it was written in 2022. It is the first poem in ‘Vortex Over Wave’ and I remember my resolution to stand under every full moon of 2022, and write a poem for it the evening of the day it was full. At that time it felt like a big thing to commit to something for a year.

I am so proud to have found the energy within me to be doing new things. There were some moments when it was cold and my legs ached during the yarn show, but so many laughs, and so much delight in seeing Kath in her own environment sharing her design work with others that this really didn’t matter. And there was a lot of love knitted into the orange cowl that Kath knitted for me on one of our days off so that I could have a cosier neck.

We enjoyed sampling the doughnuts from the bakery which was conveniently next door to the venue, and I can report that ‘Wenzels’ have a very good ratio of jam to dough should you ever find yourself in the vicinity of one.

I have come a long way from the person who might just be able to accompany their wife to a wool based event for a day to the person who is interested in the designs, the people, the conversations that happen in such places, and the me that I can be in all of this.

I won’t forget the person who came to talk to me because they were killing time whilst waiting for their toe-nail clipping appointment or the conversation we went on to have about events in life that bring deep feelings of sadness. Or the hilarity of impressing other vendors by maintaining a straight face when people ask for things that are highly unlikely to feature in a wool-based event.

I continue to increase my knowledge of knitting techniques, and my ability to explain patterns and kits when Kath is otherwise engaged delivering workshops or giving talks, and I'm celebrating the joy of meeting new people and enjoying new conversation and shared laughter. Some people who had never really considered it before are now looking for discarded elastic bands, and I am a better person for having met them.

Here's that Wolf Moon poem marking its moment from back then...

 

I am Howling to January’s Wolf Moon

 

by this I mean I have no words

by this I mean I am too tired to speak

by this I mean I think if I started, I wouldn’t stop

by this I mean there is too much I am holding in

by this I mean I am struggling

by this I mean I need to ask for help

by this I mean I need you to help me

by this I mean please howl at the moon with me

by this I mean I need you not to be scared

 

by this I mean I am terrified.

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